Classic Tea Time Manners To Go With Your Southern Charm

If you receive an invitation for tea at the Haywood Hall House, the Joel Lane Museum House or one of the historic homes in the Boylan Heights neighborhood, then you will want to brush up on your manners before you go. After all, you would not want to embarrass yourself in front of the host.

Let Your Host Know Your Coming

In most cases, you need to let the host know that you are coming to the tea party. It is common courtesy to reply to the hostess in the same way that they invited you. Therefore, if you were invited through the mail, stick a stamp on an envelope and drop a note in the mail.

Use Your Napkin

The first thing that you should do is place the napkin on your lap. If the napkin is in a napkin ring, remove the ring and place it just above your saucer and to the left. Usually at tea parties, smaller napkins are used, so make sure to unfold it all the way. If you encounter a large napkin, then unfold it only halfway.

Fill Your Teacup

If you are asked to fill your own teacup, then never fill it completely to the rim. You will only end up spilling it and making a horrible mess. If you are given tea bags, instead of loose leaf tea, to make your own tea, then pour the water in the cup and gently add the tea bag. Do not bounce the bag up and down to make the tea seep faster. Remember that great things like tea take time to work their magic.

Take a Sip

After you have filled your cup, take a quiet sip before you add anything to the tea. This allows you to see how strong the tea is before you make any adjustments. If you decide to add honey, sugar or lemon to the tea, then stir the tea in a figure-eight motion ensuring that your spoon does not touch the edges of the cup. When you are done with the spoon, place it in front of your cup on the saucer and never on the beautiful white tablecloth. The handle of the spoon should face to the right and up just slightly.

Put Trash in its Place

If you have created any trash, such as tea bags, then ask for a separate saucer to place the trash on during the party. If you are seated, this plate should be just slightly above and to the right of your tea cup saucer. Do not put your spoon on this plate.

Hold the Cup by the Handle

While it can get very cold in Raleigh with temperatures dipping into the thirties, never use your cup as a hand warmer. Instead, hold the cup gently by the handle. While you may have heard all the jokes about sticking out your pinkie finger, this is considered impolite.

Keep the Cup and Saucer Together

If you want to move around during the tea party, then the saucer needs to go with your cup. Never separate the cup and saucer by more than 12 inches. If you plan to stand up while drinking your tea, then hold the saucer at waist level in the palm of your hand. If you plan on wandering for awhile, then take your napkin with you. Otherwise, place it on the chair with the soiled side facing up.

Time to Leave

When it is time to make your exit, do not put your dirty cup and saucer back on the serving table. Instead, leave it on the table where you were seated. Place the napkin in loose folds when leaving so that the soiled side is facing up.

By following these simple tips, you will impress your host with your southern charm. If this is your first, you are sure to be elated by the delightfulness of the party.